aya: ma, when can i have a baby brother?
mommy chee: hmm. you're asking a tough question, dear. (long pause) let me put it this way. before mommies can have babies, first, mommy should get married with daddy before Papa Jesus sends them a baby.
aya: how about you? how come you and papap weren't married, but Papa Jesus sent you babies?
mommy chee: ate aya, it was mommy chee's mistake of asking Papa Jesus for babies before getting married because i thought it was okay. but now that i know better, the next time i ask for a baby from Papa Jesus, i know what to do. so mommy chee must get married first before we ask for a baby brother. do you understand?
aya: yes, ma.
mommy chee: you keep that in mind, okay? mommy made a mistake, so when you grow up and decide that you want to become a mommy too, what should you do first?
aya: i should get married first.
mommy chee: very good. but before you get married, what must you do first?
aya: finish my studies, build my own store, and buy the things that i want!** (said with much gusto)
mommy chee: very good, ate aya.
i won't forget this question from aya where i was really caught offguard especially when she asked "how about you? how come you and papap weren't married, but Papa Jesus sent you babies?" i knew that i was not talking to an ordinary child, and so i decided to give her a straightforward answer she would learn something from, rather than beat around the bush. hence, admitting to the mistake that i have done. i also wanted to make sure that i gave the emphasis that i was the one who made the mistake, and i was sorry, that i will do the right thing next time; and not give her the idea that they were the mistake.
i'm so proud of my daughter. i just feel sorry that sometimes, she would tell me how she wished we had a "father" in the family to complete the picture. ...but she makes me even more proud when she tells me that she has the best family in the world.
single parenting is not easy, but i'm really glad i'm surrounded by angels who help me through, and i always tell aya to count the blessings God is giving us and be thankful for them, instead of counting the things that we did not have, and pray for the people who are not with us.
**i don't really intend for my daughter to be materialistic when she said her last statement, but at her young age, based on my experience with her whenever we were together at the mall, there were a lot of things that she wanted to buy, and very often, i said no. i said "No" not because i didn't want her to have that item, but because we couldn't afford it right now. i was trying to stress to her the importance of prioritizing, that we should buy the necessities (needs) first, and then the wants should be bought, only if we have excess/extra money to buy them.
i also shared with her my stories of how i enjoyed buying stuff for myself when i started to work after school, and i saw that she was inspired by them. i hope she will picture herself doing the same thing--enjoying her single life as an adult--and one way is being independent and able to buy what she needs and wants, and even being able to share them to people.
i'm confident that with God's guidance, aya, and also jamie, will both grow up the way every mother wants their daughters to be. God-fearing, responsible, and loving.
I'm Mommy Chee, and welcome to my blog, "Aya Asks." I named it so because I'm starting to get amazed (and often times amused) with the questions my 6-year-old daughter Aya has been asking me these past few weeks, and I feel it would be very nice to share them together with my answers as well.
Please feel free to comment on my responses, as it honestly feels like an impromptu speech exam way back from my senior year in high school whenever she stops to ask me something!